What I Know is What I've Learned So Far

   When I was pre-adolescent, I used to love to talk... loudly. So everyone could hear me. About anything. I don't even remember if I was passionate about the topics of discussion that left my lips. I just felt like, I always needed to be saying something. I felt invisible if I wasn't audible.
   Then adolescence came. And so did the urge to become reclusive. Silent. Because I felt even with how much I knew I could vocalize, it made no matter- no difference if I stayed silent, or spoke up. I was viewed one way and, by association of coming out of MY mouth, anything I had to say would be perceived in the same manner as I had been categorized. Not taken seriously; not even considered.

   Somewhere amidst my voluntary silence, I realized that a person can say A LOT when they keep their mouth shut. Silence is still the loudest sound I’ve ever heard… It was then I learned patience. The first step to patience understanding. The first step to understanding is listening. In order to listen, one must be silent. When one is silent, everything can be heard. It was then I learned how much I enjoyed listening.

And in silence, came not invisibility but; trust. By listening, thinking, analyzing, processing; comes perspective. Also in listening, comes the ability to express an educated opinion without seeming pompous or superior.

   Now, in my early-mid twenties, never do I disclose any opinion or view or belief without mulling over every possible way to approach & convey my expression. Never do I consider advancing a conversation without first studying a neutral point of entry; to discover the position(s) of the person(s) involved in that conversation. I like to offer an opposing perspective. That's not to say I like to antagonize or argue, but I like to look at things from every possible aspect before deciding my thoughts on any matter; thus my persuasion to offer an opposite point in some conversations for the consideration of those engaged. After establishing my position on any topic I will, simply for the sake of stimulating perhaps a new way of thought in another, throw in cause for debate.

    For some of these reasons, some people have come to ask (or NEVER ask) my opinion on many different things- be it advice on personal matters, views on points brought up by other people in other conversations, my personal philosophies, how to attack an obstacle in life. Anything I say, I try to base on my personal experiences for want of tapping subjective thoughts in order to convey objective tête-à-tête.

   In everything I say: I stand strong in my convictions. I speak with the utmost confidence. My words are genuine, sincere, and honest. I speak passionately rather than loudly. I’ve found that in communication it's not the level of volume at which you speak that determines the firmness of your words, but how firm you are in your words that speak volumes.

   I love to listen. I think I’m good at it. I like to learn; and to learn, I feel the need to listen to everything that is spoken to me... in ANY aspect. I also am very opinionated, and if asked, can talk endlessly about my views. If our paths cross at any time in our lives; if you come to sit with me at any point in life- watch with me the world existing. Listen with me to Earth's sound of life.

   Consequently; if you don't want my opinion, don't ask me. I’ll listen to anything you have to say, IF you believe in your own words... but you can be sure as hell, I will tell you what I think as well.




c.marie

Two Cents

THOUGHTS PROVOKED BY THE DAY (thus far):

• I find myself holding my breath & gasping for air in a certain presence. (If you've ever been in a flight simulator, it's exactly the feeling when unpressurized flight is simulated- you have to fight to breathe... you can't speak because the air is too rapidly exhaled.)

•  I'm not a sage... but sometimes I think I channel them.

• Everything's more dramatic in the rain...

• I feel O.L.D... But with it & my accumulated life experiences, I enjoy tracing everything back like a zig-zagging, loop-de-looping, criss-crossing, this-way-thatta-way line on a weathered map.

• Incubus, My Morning Jacket, Portishead, Floyd, & Zep have been serenading me into a peaceful state of introspection on this tumultuous day.

• There are some days when I can feel like I am PRECISELY where I'm meant to be... & other days when I feel like I'm a millisecond behind the Universe's schedule for me.

Down By the River

     Park the car. Let's hike.
Let's take the trail meant for bikes.

     It's 9 o'clock, find the fork in the road.
To the left, over dirt & rocks, forward-ho.

      Find the ledge, lay the blanket down, plant it on the edge.

     Dangle your feet over the water, 30ft below.
Listen to the frogs chirp & the long grass grow.

     The river looks so still, but its water runs swiftly & deep.
Feel the flicker of the candle, it radiates more than heat- memories in the making.

c.marie

Ella Mental

   I was born of the wind. In the instance it whispered its secret to the green leaves & suspended them in the animation of the breeze. In that breath, I began.

   I was born of colors. In the green of youth & the blue  that tints gray hair. In the red of passion, the brown of the earth, in the purple that shades a deep winter to weather a soul. Yellow, the tinge that radiates from the sun bright with energy on a mid-summer's day; and the orange that glows as the sea engulfs the setting sun on an early fall evening. In the shimmer from a prism upon a curious eye, I came to be.

   I was born of natures aviators. The courage of birds & the wax of bees. With a heart to brave uncertainty, the flexibility to mold & fit myself, and the ambition to reach for the sky.

    I was born through the sound of a wise woman's laugh when it met with the strong crash of Poseidon's tides... Born with the appreciation of; and the ability to understand, silence. Birthed by the water- an estuary bled me into life.

c.marie