Sunday, June 20, 2010

The Light in a Black Hole

On her way to Earth, on the day of her birth:

A black hole spoke to her, softly. Not in the manner one would assume a black hole to speak; that loud, rapid-inhalation, vacuum vibrato all would imagine. It's closer to an underwater whisper. It said, "Girl, give to me your heart so that you will be free of pain. Let me send it through the galaxies; warp it in an interplanetary fashion to avoid the weight of love."


She thought for a moment-- index finger to chin, furrowed brow and all. "No disrespect, I'm sure it's quite a big job being a black hole & all... but may I ask if you have a heart yourself?"


It let a murmured sort of wheeze escape, what she could only imagine to be a sort of laugh? "No child, I am only an infinite mass of blackness. I am everywhere- in between stars, in between one thought & the next, in the split seconds which people blink, I AM the endless in-between's. I am the resonating silence while you sleep, I bounce off walls & float in suspended animation & eat the nothingness. I have no heart, I fill only empty space & recycle it to become more of what I am... and what I am not."


Perplexed, she quizzically asked, "Then why is it that you ask for my heart? Surely if you are all the in-betweens, you feel nothing that comes before or after them?"


If black holes could smile; smirk even, she is most certain she caught a glimpse. "And so you have my answer in your question. If I am infinity due to what I do not feel; what I cannot feel, does it not entice you to join me in the endless in-betweens as well?"


Without hesitation, "No. In all absolution, no. How can you know you're alive if you can't feel alive? Everything I feel has collected to make me who I am in all my mortality. What good would it do me to know who I am & recognize what I feel, what I see, what I learn if I had not the opportunity to share it with others? I would choose a limited span of time with love and pain and everything in between those feelings over eternal in-betweens of what lies between humans any day."


Now I'm quite sure I recognized a pause in the black hole's fluidity. "Hmm. I suppose with all the time I have, I could have conjured a better argument. Let me then try another approach. You see, my mass of nothingness is built up, grown rather, by the abandonment of hope in hearts. I, if you can imagine, engulf hearts and fill the empty space in a person's chest with my dark blackness. Through all of time, this has been my way. And before the time of humanity, your substitute would have been baby stars; for they knew not what they surrendered. That is why some are dimmer than others." And in all of its charming whisper, the black hole continued. "Since you now know my ways, I can not possibly release you whole. But now I must forcibly take what beats in your chest, and fill the all of the space in between with some of me so that I may persist in my conquest."


The black hole's opening became more agape than before (if that's possible), and before ascending upon the girl, she spoke again. Calmly, "May I suggest an alternate solution?"


Entertained, the black hole paused with, "Now that's a new one... You have my attention, young one. But my appetite is insatiable and I make no promises to hear you out completely."


With a bow of her head, "Fully understandable, you have many other people to offer your services to. First let me say that I will not contest if you choose to continue with your original intentions. However, I would willingly offer you half of my heart, if you will allow me to keep the other half securely in my body..."


Now it was the black hole who was perplexed. "You're bargaining with me? Have you not noticed you're not really in a position to negotiate? Why would I accept only half of your heart when I am capable of taking all of it?!"


In a stoic manner she replied, "What I am offering to you is not for sustenance's sake but for your personal reserve; a connection to understand, if not experience, the vast pool of feelings we incur in all of our in-betweens. What I am presenting is an opportunity, if you would consider it so, to grow in a different aspect- if that is even possible in all your current greatness. Surely infinity must be lonely at times? To feel what I feel may occupy a piece of your perpetual void, & vice-versa. To know that you occupy a space that is shared, would it not make you feel so alone?"


Not to be insisted upon that there were things the black hole did not understand; for it considered itself to be infallible in its knowledge of all things, it added a condition to the presented offer. "Child, you bring forth an interesting concept. One which I would like to explore that would only add to my wealth in the knowledge of all things... under one condition."


The girl, stood serenely still, demonstrating her full attention to the endless mass of darkness.


It continued with, "I accept your measly offer under the term that which upon the end of your short, fragile, life- you relinquish the remainder of your heart to me."




In this mutual binding verbal contract, the black hole commenced the dissection of half of the girl's heart. Once he opened up her chest, a blinding light (to any being other than a black hole) spread to everything in the vicinity. It was such a powerful source of light that the black hole could not find any space between to occupy. Momentarily baffled, it proceeded with the extraction. Almost as quickly as it had started, it was over; the girl felt nothing amidst the duration of which. She was left as she had arrived, minus half a heart and save for a new freckle on her chest to represent the event. Without any further exchange of words, the girl & black hole parted ways.



They lived on, in their own ways & in each other. Given all the extent of infinity, sometimes the black hole would forget about his encounter with the girl. That is, in between the fleeting moments when he "felt" something palpate and instill something only a human would describe as "emotion". There is even secret talk that the black hole gained more than he bargained for... Hushed assertions that some of the girls light that was so hot-white bright, was left aglow in hidden corners (if there are any) in the black hole.


When the girl, who was now an old woman, approached her last day; the day the black hole had marked for the surrender of the rest of her heart... the black hole was thwarted. For what it did not realize was that in every tiny moment that he felt the girl's heart briefly bestow within it a beat or two, those were moments when she gave pieces of the rest of her heart to others in her physical life. On the day the black hole crossed paths with the girl again, this time in her ethereal form; it was only able to collect her heartskin. For everything that had filled it, belonged to the people she left pieces of herself with in her earthly time.

And so was the tale of the girl and the big black hole.




c.marie

We Are All Made of Stars

Miniature freckles of light
Make up our mass.
Insignificant specks explode,
Accumulate an inner glow.
Touch another life,
Let the radiation grow.

Nebula's and supernova's;
Intergalactic wormholes,
Link us through time.
And love.
And life.
And loss.




c.marie

Friday, June 18, 2010

Afterglow

The Dusk:

And so the sun sets on another rat-race day,
Making stellar room for the moon.
The world spins madly on.

Become refined by letting go of what defines.


And so my soul churns like the tides,
Cleansing the surface of the shores.
Smoothing the sand for a new tomorrow.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------


The Dark:


Shadows engulf with insatiable hunger. It's sometimes too easy to get lost in the dark... But it's also easier to find the cracks in the infinite blackness- the slivers of light in the deepest middle of the night. Stand fast, hold steady; chin up, eyes forward, arms ready. Throw the armor to the wayside, it'll only make you an anchor. Vulnerability- the fool's negligence, the hero's glory story.




c.marie

Nursery Rhymes for Grown-up Times

Dandy little lions
Dancing in the breeze.
Natures gymnasts soaring,
Navigating an air trapeze.

Softly roaring
Confidence exudes,
Radiating innocence,
Not to secrets, but imagination elude.

Miniature Marry Poppins' umbrellas
Fuzzily float from
Yesterdays dreams to
Tomorrows hopes.

Spoonful's of sugar warn:
"Do not take with alcohol;
May cause drowsiness".
Soon imagination becomes a jaded mess.


Waste not, want not,
Rely on heart's true thought.
Fear not, fret not,
Encage the brain in iron wrought.

Steel the mind,
Steady the core.
Focus the desires,
Balance the soul.

Decide favored flavor &
Fill your own spoon full.

c.marie

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Tortoise & The Scared

Like a rabbit, your actions are quick & swift; acting only in the interest of the rabbit. Then, like it's counterpart the tortoise, retreat into the shell of your words. Tangible, colorful, elaborate words. Empty words. Preconceived, prepared; practiced in the occurrence that you may need to talk your way out of a corner. A corner you backed yourself into. They lull the gullible, they sway the weak. But they won't penetrate the meek. For the meek know better than to rest their faith in only letters- irregardless of the intricacy of the speech. So jump back down the rabbit hole, where you seem to be much more comfortable. A den in the dirt that you've made home, you'll soon see- you are alone. For the bunker will house only one.

c.marie

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Fluid Velvet

Entertaining intermission-
Watching the miniscule bubbles,
Cling to the inside of the bottle.
Watching the level of red,
Reach for the bottom.

c.marie

Please! Don't Feed The Animals...

If you want friends, just feed the animals chomping at the bit.
I'm 346 miles away...
There's nothing I can do anyway.




c.marie

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Fire Thief

A cheat & a liar,
Stealing heat from a true blue fire
To fuel your escape.
Burning bridges in the getaway...

Only to cry when the smoke
Drowns your eyes.
In perpetual hopelessness,
Fall to your knees.
Weaker than wax
Made from the buzz of killer bees,
The hum of whispering secrets...

No damage control can fix the flame you stole.




c.marie

Friday, June 4, 2010

"Shit on the Radio" -Nelly Furtado


You say good things come to those who wait
I've been waiting a long time for it

I remember the days when i was so eager to satisfy you
Be less then i was just to prove i could walk beside you
Now that i've flown away i see you've chosen to stay behind me
Still you curse the day i decided to stay true to myself

You say your quest is to bring it higher
Well i never seen change without a fire
But from your mouth i have seen a lot of burning
But underneath i think it's a lot of yearning

Your face the colors change from green to yellow
To the point where you can't even say hello
You tell me you'd kill me if i ever snob you out
Like that's what you'd expect from me like that's what i'm about

I remember the days when i was so eager to satisfy you
And be less then i was just to prove i could walk beside you
Now that i've flown away i see you've chosen to stay behind me
And still you curse the day i decided to stay true to myself

It's so much easier to stay down there guaranteeing you're cool
Than to sit up here exposing myself trying to break through
Than to burn in the spotlight hoping fine
Turn in the spitfire hoping fine scream without making a sound
(hoping fine)
Be here and looking down
(hoping fine)
Because we're all afraid of heights

I remember the days when i was so eager to satisfy you
And be less then i was just to prove i could walk beside you
Now that i've flown away i see you've chosen to stay behind me
And now you curse the day i decided to stay true to myself
Myself myself myself myself myself myself