Tuesday Morning

Upon touching my face, the rosy fingertips of dawn
welcomed me awake by gently cradling my cheeks.
 ------------
Light shone, a dim glow through burgundy curtains.
Eucalyptus & exhaust waft, intoxicating. Toxic.
 ------------
Midday shower, noon on the dot.
Clean up, set off; find a calm introspection spot.
 ------------
Ethan makes a white mocha shake.
I setup & read my horoscope for the day:
     "You've been somewhat restless recently -- and when you get this way, you need to find ways to liven things up fast. Rather than firing up some new drama, it occurs to you that a change of venue could also get the job done -- without the fireworks! Don't let anyone tell you that you're just trying to bypass the real issues. You're not running away -- you're instead trying to rejuvenate yourself. This is something your intuitive side is screaming at you! You have reached a finish line today-- but don't rest too long on your laurels. Are you an artist -- or do you just want to try your hand at something new? Today is perfect for exploring your creative side in earnest, even if you haven't sketched a face in years."
 ------------
I can't stop jack-hammering  my leg.
My thoughts race from one unresolved issue
to the next, and on, to the next, and on,
to the life I've begun to build here...
Without anyone from my last camp.
 ------------
Excommunication. Dramatic retaliation.
Phone lines echo with silence.
Independence replaces reliance;
conversations exchanged with those
who were once true
& kind
& also searching
 ------------
I'm 24.
I should have started my life sooner.
Better late than never.




c.marie

After the Sunset

This song's a lesson to you, who can't seem to choose.
Don't gotta be so mean, fighting your battle of endless in-betweens.
Givin' hope a false start, Indian-givin' away your heart.
The moon, she don't smile so wide anymore.
Not since you've made her your whore.

     Who stole the moon?
     Malice & Greed said it was you.
     Oh, what a fool.

So she slipped into the sea, secretly sought her missing gleam.
Queen of the sky, searched for her smile as you kept sailing
towards no-man's isle.
When the wind learned of the news, took from your sails
what it lent to you.
Stranded before the glow of escape, red hands thwart clean getaways

     Who stole the moon?
     Envy & Arrogance said it was you.
     Oh, what a fool

     She won't go quietly.
     She's not submissive, she
     Is the moon. Don't be a fool.
     A wicked fool.

     You tried to steal the moon.
     Pride & Regret tried to warn you.
     Oh what a fool.

A captive in the seas of high, held hostage for lying to the sky.
When will you learn, if you don't give you only get nothing
in return.
Instead let me explain, turn to thievery & empty hearts so remain.
The moon rose just beyond, your desert isle
That's where she found her smile.

     You tried to steal the moon.
     Now Shame & Exile have stolen you.




c.marie

The Third

I realized, that I'm in love with you.

I love you.
More certainly than I've ever been in love before-
(I've only ever been in love twice.)
That makes you "Three", but you're the only
One I could ever associate with "marry".
When it comes to that, I can't see past you, &
honestly, your the first I've ever even considered.


I toy with the idea sometimes, when I drift:

     into daydreams
     out of my mind
     on to tangents of the heart

that start with thoughts of breakfast. Writing. Art. Smoking. Chinese food. Bicycles. Bass. My heartbeat. My heart beats faster (and slower) around you. You. You & me. You & me on a front porch. We're smiling in our chairs & watching the world spin as we rock. We're old. But, now, we're so young. Am I allowed to think that far ahead? Well, sometimes I do anyway... Like when you smile at me with your eyes; bluer than a crystal ball- it's no wonder I can imagine my future in them.


I see all the adolescent innocence in your smile;
though you claim none remains in you,
when we look into each other.
Brief moments when your soul sparkles through
the cracks in the play-doh walls
of the childhood fort you'd built
around your heart.
You took down the sign
"No girls allowed" long ago,
but the walls still stand, just for show.


You may be my Third Love,
but I fear this Third
is not the charm.
We have too many plans
for things to come,
& come undone
with the potential compromise of
wandering hearts.

And yet, still...
I know in some lifetime,
we're perfect.

c.marie

Earth Atrophy

TREES:
Futile flutters,
substitute for a heartbeat;
four chambers encaged
by tissue paper.
Illusory decor
distracts from the deterioration
of a once strong muscle;
thick
red-blooded with love.
Now so fragile
its beat alone
could tear it
to shreds.
On the verge of being ripped
to oblivion,
follow no rhythm.
Boxed in by beautiful
colored paper walls-
death never looked
so lovely.

WATER:
Toxins plague
a once-functional liver;
healthy, bright-green
bile turned against its organ.
Sticky blob
riddled with infection
so dark the color doesn't exist.
Suffocated, liquid
thicker than oil erodes
no longer able to purge poison;
self-consumed by disease.

AIR:
Smoke monopolizes,
exhausting lungs.
Charred ash is the new pink.
Elasticity lost,
functionality error,
apply respirator.

We kill this Earth everyday.
When will we realize-
we do so with a double-edged sword?




c.marie

Celebrating with Strangers

As I swallowed,
The Green Fairy sunk its teeth in:
the biting aftertaste of absinthe
stung my tongue.

Thoughts, or feelings,
I can't decipher which;
manifested into vision. You appeared here,
in front of me.

Spoiled with hallucinations of
tangible protoplasmic beings: spirits
swam through my imagination.

Another sip of champagne,
the bubbles turned to intoxicating
freckles that sparkled behind my closed eyes;
a familiar face that haunts my dreams.

Ice stunned my lips
quickly, I caught my breath.
The piercing chill mimicked a pair of eyes
that have paired with mine for lifetimes.

Feeling lost, I found out
celebrating with strangers
allows for affection
appreciated in distant perfection.



 
c.marie